


I run to you right now

by Anonymous



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Trans Male Character, We Die Like Men, actually very wholesome, woosan were mentioned one time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22310941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Seonghwa's phone vibrated next to his computer's keyboard, turning on the screen quickly, showing a preview of the new text he got.Hongjoong:"hey could u come to my house later? We can get delivery food later"The raven haired looked at the message a little intrigued.Seonghwa:"Sure"
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 74
Collections: Anonymous





	I run to you right now

**Author's Note:**

> So uhh hi  
this is my first fic about Ateez and probably the first in this account. I already want to warn you, that i dont have a beta read and english is not even my second language (it's my third oof)  
also im adding tags properly when I wake up

Hongjoong was nervous.

He glanced at the old clock by the kitchen wall, marking 6:47 pm.

“Seonghwa could be here at any minute.” He thought, feeding his anxiety even more. He looked around the kitchen, trying to find where he put his phone and finally spotting it on top of the microwave by the counter, an unusual place for his phone to be on but due anxiety, he surely laid it down there absentmindedly. He hoped for one second that a new message from Seonghwa would pop up, maybe saying something that he can’t make it or he will come later, so Hongjoong could have some time to relax. But of course, that wasn’t the case, as he unlocked, the last message they shared was Seonghwa’s “I’ll be there soon” and a small lonely heart as well. Hongjoong always thought Seonghwa’s way to text always so cute, he was very formal and polite, in the beginning Hongjoong even wondered if he was texting his boss or someone his age, but as the time progressed the oldest started to loosen up, sending some hearts and kiss emojis. 

He locked again his phone and held close to his chest, looking at their chat really didn’t help him to calm down. It even made his heart sting a little, as the anxiety progressed to fill his head with more questions about the future. Would Seonghwa actually accept him? Or would he leave like his past experience? He trembled as the memory came back, holding tighter to his phone. He exhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down, with reassuring thoughts. Wooyoung and San made sure Seonghwa was a good person before introducing him to Hongjoong, they were sure the oldest would never hurt a fly, nor anyone’s feelings. They were there when the Ex Incident happened and they promised themselves to kick anyone’s butt if they ever made their Hyung feel less powerful than he already is. 

The duo introduced Seonghwa to the Hongjoong some months ago, so the shortest could finally meet new people and not be closed up in his apartment, working in his music. They didn’t click off at first, the oldest was too stiff for him, way too impersonal. But later on, after some dates, he learned that it was actually his shyness and his difficulty to show his true feelings. He learned that the taller loved skinship, (which made him a little nervous, since he never was a fan of people touching him) which he usually would wrap his arms around the blond’s neck (carefully) and nuzzle his face against him whenever they cuddled, leaving the younger a blushing mess. He also learned that he was a hopeless romantic, as he looked to the younger one with loving eyes whenever he opened his mouth to say something. 

As the doorbell rang, he felt his skin jumping, almost letting his phone fall on the floor. So he finally was here, no delays or excuses. The younger put his phone on the table and walked to the door, with his hands together nervously. He opened his door greeting with the so known, gorgeous face of his boyfriend. The other’s face lit up, as he met the shorter one’s eyes, soften in a smile as he leaned to peck him on the lips. “Hey, I brought food.” The oldest greeted, as they leaned back, entering the apartment, so the other could close the door. “I know you said you could make them deliver later, but I thought this way would be easier to both parties.” He smiled again, shaking slightly the plastic bag. Hongjoong sighed mentally, Seonghwa was truly an angel. 

“You know it's the same thing, you’re just making an excuse to pay yourself.” The blond smiled, as he watched the other taking off his shoes and slipping into his slippers. 

“Maybe I am.” He said as he walked to the kitchen, letting the bag on the table. “So, what did you prepare for us? You don’t invite me so formally to your house.” The question made Hongjoong’s stomach drop. He did invite him to his house, which usually never happened, since Seonghwa normally comes very naturally to his house since it’s close to his workplace. 

“A-ah… I don’t know, I just missed you, you know?” He laughed nervously as he turned to the kitchen drawer’s to pick up some cutlery so they could eat. “Maybe we could watch something too…” He looked over at the raven haired pulling the styrofoam boxes out of the bag, looking at him quite skeptical. He really wasn’t buying it. But the other remained silent as he continued doing what he started mumbling a “well we could do that.” The younger sighed mentally in relief, thanking the other for brushing off at least for now. Hongjoong knew that he wouldn’t handle to open up about anything without something in his stomach. 

“Sooo… What do you wanna watch?” The blond one picked his box and walked to the living room, accompanied by the other just behind. “You know I’m fine with everything, so you can choose.” 

“I don’t have anything in mind…” He sat on the small couch, leaving his own box on the coffee table so he could manage the remote control. The shorter one sat right next to him pulling up his legs closer to his body. He was glad he changed his pants for sweatpants before the other arrived, because he wouldn’t handle to sit on the couch like this in jeans. 

“Ah then let’s just watch normal tv till we figure out.” He shrugged as he opened the box, he knew that weren’t many channels to choose but he didn’t mind, sometimes it was nice to watch normal tv. Specially with someone you like. 

The oldest put in the main channel, which was playing the news. Of course, it was 7 pm. They eat most of it in silence, sometimes breaking the silence to chat about some reports. This casual moment really helped the younger to calm down his nerves, he finally felt his confidence coming back, the one he felt earlier when he texted Seonghwa. They really needed to talk, or at least, he need to talk to him. They were dating for quite a while, but Hongjoong wasn’t confident enough to open up to the older one, as the two fell more in love and started to feel more dependent of each other. 

Just some weeks ago, the oldest explained that the last relationship he had was a really long time ago and it didn’t end well. He found his ex-boyfriend cheating on him in a party with some other person, that he introduced him as his “best friend”. After that he learned he actually was cheated on for a quite while, as the two were friends with benefits even before dating Seonghwa. The oldest broke down into tears in this same couch, as he still felt hurt by this event. He didn’t bear any feelings for the guy anymore but it still upset him deeply to have his trust broken like that. 

As he remembered of this situation, the youngest felt his confidence wither back again, what if Seonghwa thinks he’s lying to him? He can’t hurt him again, he will feel terrible for the rest of his life. 

“You’re thinking so loudly, I can’t hear the show.” The raven haired looked at him, snapping the other out of his thoughts. “Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” The youngest didn’t notice, but he was paralyzed, staring at some fixed point behind the tv with a pale face. 

“Ah… Don’t worry, I think my pressure lowered. I’m okay.” He smiled nervously, trying to brush it over. “Really, don’t worry.” 

“Really? Because you don’t seem so.” He shifted on the couch to turn his body facing the other. “You know you can’t fool me, I know you want to tell me something. You’re acting weird since I arrived.” He spoke in a soft tone, clearly worried. He reached the younger’s arm, touching with the tips of his fingers, as if he was made of the finest crystal glass. 

The youngest sighed, there was no use to beat around the bush anymore. He laid down the almost finished food box on the table and looked over at the other’s eyes. He felt his confidence shrinking into nothing, as the big, sparkly eyes stared him back. He really couldn’t do this. Not with Seonghwa at least. 

“I don’t even know where to start… It’s complicated…” The blond hugged his legs once again. They paused for some seconds, as the atmosphere grew thicker with anxiety of both parties. 

“You can tell me…” The other responded moments after, clearly shaky. 

Hongjoong ran a hand through his hair, in hopes to calm this annoying feeling inside his stomach. “So there’s something I wanted to tell you, since day one, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it… I mean, we weren’t that close in the beginning, but then everything went so fast, that I couldn’t find a good moment to talk about it.” He inhaled deeply, as he felt the air running out on his head. “You know… I… I wasn’t born as Hongjoong, you know?” He bit the inside of his cheek. “I mean… I wasn’t born as a man…” He closed his eyes shut, afraid of seeing the other’s reaction. “I know, it’s weird, it’s not common.” He spoke quickly. “But I don’t feel the person I was born as represents me… Hell, I don't think it ever represented me.” He tried to laugh, make it more light-hearted, but the subject still weighted his heart. He looked up at Seonghwa, who had a very surprised expression on but also still unreadable. "I'm very sorry not to tell you sooner…" His eyes finally filled with water, but he couldn't let himself break down now. 

"You don't need to apologise…" The other finally spoke in a low soft tone. It was reassuring, he knew Seonghwa would never react ignorantly at something like this. "Wow… I mean… I'm impressed at your courage to say something like this…" 

The blond inhaled deeply once again. This wasn't a good sign. "Please… I don't want our relationship to change because of this…" He spoke shakily. "Just please…" He hugged his knees closer. 

"No, no, no that's not what I mean… I'm proud of you.. I think I could never admit something like this if I was in your place." He leaned forward shifting his upper body weight into his hands. "You know… I lowkey had an idea since there was some rumors I heard before even meeting you, but I didn't pay any attention. But then I met you, and I saw what an amazing guy you were. And I didn't mind, I still don't mind and I never will…You’re my boyfriend and that will never change. No matter what happened in the past." A small laugh opened a smile on his face. "And I love you very much."

"Wha.. ? But…" The younger lifted his head back. Looking at the others warm smile. "Oh…" his lips quivered, not being able to hold back. He started crying hard, not being able to hold back. The oldest brought the other's small frame closer, combing his hair with his fingers. "Hey… no need to cry… I'm so proud of you…" The youngest held weakly at the oldest arm, wetting his shirt with tears. 

"I t-thought you would leave me…" He spoke in middle of sobbings. The arms around him held tighter. 

"I couldn't never do that… Not for something like this." He pressed a kiss on his head. "I can't leave you for something you are, what type of boyfriend would I be?" He spoke quietly between his bleached hair locks. "And I thought this whole time you wanted to break up with me…" The younger lifted his head again, to look at the other's face. 

"Break up? Why?" He looked puzzled at the other who clearly grew more embarrassed. 

"Well… You were acting so weird…" He laughed weakly. "I thought I did something you didn't like or you found someone else…" 

"No, no, that would never happen… You know I like you back…" The blond put his hands on the others cheeks, refraining the other to shift his gaze. "I'm sorry to make this such a drama too, I'm usually not like that…" 

"Shhh, I told you that was really powerful of you, it was nowhere to be a drama, it's a serious topic, that I'm glad you opened up." He leaned to peck the others lips. The shorter opened a small smile, feeling the warm feeling finally settling in. He felt like a big weight just fell of his shoulders and he finally can be comfortable around his boyfriend. 

They cuddled for a while, Hongjoong putting Seonghwa on his lap, letting the other rest his head on his shoulder like he so adores. But now with less fear coming from the younger's part, letting Seonghwa be close to his body. He still reacted at it at first, flinching as usual, but he reassured the oldest that he shouldn't mind and just continue whatever he wants. He trusted Seonghwa enough to let him touch more than his shoulders and arms. 

Later on, they moved themselves to the room, Seonghwa finally breaking off their embrace so he could shower. The younger took already a shower before the oldest arrived, so the only thing he needed to do was brush his teeth. He waited Seonghwa to be finished with his shower to enter the bathroom, they still didn't have the intimacy to see each other naked, but Hongjoong wished to himself that day he would be capable and comfortable to do it in the future. Just maybe not now, he is still doing baby steps. 

After both did finished their daily hygiene, they crawled under the warm blankets and found eachothers arms once again. Hongjoong found his arms again around the others hips, making lazy circles on his back. They used to sleep very often like this, as the oldest enjoyed to be the small spoon. But now facing the other, he could finally fill his boyfriend's face with kisses. 

"You're so clingy today…" Hongjoong laughed. "You weren't this warm when I knew you…" 

"Don't remind me of that…" The oldest hid his face on the pillow. "God I was so stupid…" 

"Hmm? What do you mean?" The blond looked curious at the other, tugging a little on his hips.

"God… When we met, Wooyoung used to say you were really cool and you only hung out with cool people…" He mumbled out. "So I thought if I acted cooly, you would like me." After some seconds of his confession, the youngest bursted out in laughter. "Hey don't laugh!"

"Jesus, Hwa, you behaved like you were a boss from an office." He calmed down from his laughing fit, but still not quite. 

"Yeah, I'm really bad at acting cool…" He smiled, leaning his head on his shoulder. 

"I'm glad you stopped, I prefer when you're like this." He whispered, closing his eyes, concentrating on the other's presence. "It feels like home."

The oldest hummed as the reply, shifting closer to the other, tangling their legs together. It really did felt like home. No more fears and anxious thoughts. Only feeling safe and comfortable around each other. Hongjoong could finally be himself around the person he liked the most and there wasn't a better feeling than this and now he knew he could count the other with any hardship that could come along. Because now they got each other.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what to write but stream answer  
now I'll go to sleep  



End file.
